WTF Is Up With Me And Fire Alarms?!

A few weeks ago I had a really weird night with Software Guy. It was our third date, and two of my girlfriends and I had met up with him and two of his friends at a trendy-disguised-as-dive bar in downtown Denver. You know, it used to be a dive bar before all of the ritzy condos went in around it and turned it into a trendy place where the same old bartenders bitch about how no one cool ever comes in anymore?

I should preface this by saying that on our second date, he accidentally told me he loved me. Oops. Um, yeah. It was super awkward. He was really wasted and just got out of a 7-year relationship, so I chalked it up to late night drunken confusion and accepted his explanation that that's not what he meant to say. Then told him to please stop talking - the attempt at rationalization was just making the whole thing worse.

So that kind of skeeved me out, but I figured I would give him one more chance, that the random expression of love was an abnormal thing for him - and met him at this bar.

Again, he's totally wasted. At this point, I am realizing he's been totally wasted on all three of our dates so far. Hello red flag, nice to see you again. We have some drinks, he's pretty funny, and I agree to go back to his place. We kiss a little and AGAIN he starts with the drunken confessional emotional talking. He is really digging me, he thinks we should be exclusive, he doesn't want me to see anyone else, blah blah blah. AWKWARD. I told him I actually was seeing someone else, and maybe we should talk about this later, at which point he got kind of butt hurt. I thought about going home at this point, because I could tell he was obviously high maintenance and rebounding and that this probably wasn't really going to work for me right now, but (against my better judgment) agreed to stay the night when he asked.

I had been asleep for about an hour when the fire alarm went off. The flashing lights, pulsing noise type of fire alarm. He didn't move at all. I lay there for a while, wondering what I should do, and eventually it stopped. I was woken up four more times that night by the fire alarm, and once by him flailingly smacking me in the face and offering up the sleeptalky explanation "sorry, I was just texting my friends about how fucking cool you are." Nice. He didn't remember the fire alarms or the sleeptexting at all the next day.

The next morning he apologized for the drunken confession and asked if we could just pretend that convo never happened. I said sure. In my mind, because I sort of believe in synchronicity and karma and all that other bullshit, I was thinking the fire alarm was a sign to me to get the fuck out of there and not go back. Alert, alert, this isn't going to work.

THEN, I went to the gyno this morning to get my annual physical. I've been thinking in the interest of not having any random babies I should probably go back on the pill. So while I am there, in full spread-eagle-most-uncomfortable-moment-of-the-entire-physical mode, the fucking fire alarm goes off. What are the odds of this? Like I'm not already super tense and nevous and full of adrenaline already. GREAT timing. The doctor says to ignore it and we will finish the exam, and I say okay. Then someone comes and starts pounding on the door about how we need to leave! I mean, for the record, while you're having your annual exam is totally not the greatest time to be startledly jumping at loud and surprising noises. Gah.

So now I am wondering, if fire alarms really are all symbolic and shit, what that one was trying to tell me? Don't take birth control pills? Don't be banging anyone anytime soon? Or just avoid the gyno from now on? Or, I'm totally open to the idea that a fire alarm is just a fire alarm, you know.