Crazy

I've always been a little fascinated by women's reaction to the word "crazy." Mainly because I say it a lot, i.e., "that's soooooo crazy" or "you're crazy, girl." There's a lot of baggage associated with that word for a lot of people. Don't believe me? Make it part of your general vocabulary and stand back as women will react to a seemingly innocuous comment by turning red and saying something along the lines of, "what? Me? Did you just call ME crazy? How is that crazy?"

Some are more defensive than others. And I have a theory about it, that I posted on my old blog at one point. Basically that guys are hardwired to tell women they are crazy anytime we call them out for some bullshit. You see your guy at the club with some blonde rubbing all over his ass? (Yes, this really happened to me.) If you call him out, and he's a douche like the guy was that did that to me, I guarantee you he will say something like, "you're crazy, that girl was just a friend." Um. Okay.

I'm not trying to say all guys are manipulative jerks, here, just that I kind of consider the "crazy" line to be a generic, all-encompassing fallback for guys who don't want to deal with the realities and emotions of being in a committed relationship. When the woman's expectations differ from the man's, often the woman gets labeled as the crazy one for desiring what would otherwise be totally normal behavior on the part of someone you call your "boyfriend."

And some girls have been told this enough that they are sensitive and overreactive about the word itself, as I mentioned in the first paragraph. One thing I will say for my ex, he never really pulled the crazy card. Even when I was acting, well, somewhat crazy, say during trial preparation. But I do remember him mentioning that HIS ex was one of the sensitive ones...so much so that when he would teasingly sing "Crazy Mary" by Big Head Todd to her, she would react to it.

Which finally brings me to my point. Gah I am such a rambler. So Sunday night, GTIAGO and Tiny Panther and her boyfriend and I cooked dinner together, right, and just chilled at the house. Tiny Panther was in the shower, her boyfriend was upstairs, and GTIAGO were just sitting for a minute in the kitchen, talking. I had gotten all of our ingredients out and we had just poured some drinks. I was telling some random story and at the end, he said, "you're so crazy," then quickly backtracked, "I mean, you're not REALLY crazy, I was just saying like, the story was crazy...I definitely don't think you're crazy, just so you know."

In my mind, I was thinking the following: "wow, he's definitely experienced the girl who's defensive about the word crazy, huh?!" Amused, I said something along the lines of, "well, that's good, I mean, if you really thought I was legitimately crazy, that might be a problem for us."

Then I sat for a minute, thinking, but would it be? I mean, if he was serious, like, he really just told me he thought I was being crazy about something, would it matter? What would I do? Would I change my reaction, however crazy it may have been? Probably not. I would probably just take that as a sign that I should move on down the road and find a guy who didn't think I was crazy. And isn't that like, the number one mistake we make in partnering up? Instead of seeing the little signs along the way that scream to us that we're not compatible, and moving on to someone we might actually BE compatible with, do we instead hope the other person will see things OUR way? Will someday change and "get" us and we'll live happily ever after?

Or was that just me, LOL? Personally, I think THAT is the craziest thing...the mindset that somehow, someone else will be "it" for us, and that if they really care about us and love us, things will work out. Sometimes they just won't. And I have a waaaaaaay different attitude about compatibility and relationships now than I did even just six months ago. You would have thought I would have learned my lesson from the blonde ass-rubber (haha, ass rubber) but it appears it took me about five years more to figure it out. So, that's my deep thought for the day.

Totally off-topic, but how cute is it that GTIAGO texted me about 10:30 last night "kisses, gangsta!" Ohmifreakingah. I'm pretty sure it's cute guy speak for "thinking of you, goodnight," or something.